The Blueberry Monster and other harrowing experiences.

Today we went out to Nesbit to pick blueberries. Big, plump, juicy, fall off the branch and into your mouth blueberries. Yum! This is a big deal because I don't like blueberries. Not your average sort that you find in the store anyhoo. Bryan loves them but I always thought they were kinda bitter and way too expensive. Well a couple years ago we found out about Nesbit blueberries and ever since then our lives have been the picture of peace and harmony. *sigh*
Ok, that may be a little dramatic but they are still amazingly yummy berries. And at only 11 bucks for a gallon bucket worth they are a steal. If you're in the area and decide to make the trip I'd show up as soon as they opened at 7am to make sure you had plenty of time before the heat really kicks in.
Picking is a big deal for me. This is the first year I actually picked the berries and didn't pay extra to get them picked for me. This meant I had to strap Derek into a hip holster...or whatever you want to call it...and head out into the bushes. Bushes that are outside. Bugs live outside. Ewww.
Call me a wimp if you wish. The thing is I'm allergic to biting things and if something that didn't bite crawled up my arm, well that would probably give me a rash too. Not to mention the nervous tick I develop when I hear buzzing *shiver*. All this notwithstanding I went out into the wild to pick the delicious blueberries. I started hesitantly but then I started to pick up the pace and then I saw a big old spider web with food storage. I must say the occupant was very tidy. He had like 8 meals wrapped nicely and lined up in a perfectly straight row. I'd almost crashed his house reaching for a berry. I cannot tell you the hysterics that were only narrowly avoided by my noticing that web before I went in hand first. I decided to let that bush be and I moved on to the next one. At this point a hornet started following me. I guess it liked the smell of my sunscreen or something because the thing would just not quit. I squished him with my water bottle. Brave, huh?! Well it was a small hornet. Again I was just happy I hadn't run away screaming. I mean I had to keep my composure. The kids there with us didn't freak out and the other adults were as calm as could be. No big deal.
I started to get more comfortable. Nothing was crawling on me. I wasn't stung and I was still sticking my hands into the bushes and pulling out yummy berries. My confidence level was climbing as my bucket was filling and then...wait....what is....is that....*deep breath* I checked one more time and then with a voice as calm as if I saw such things everyday I called for the boys to come check out the snake skin I found.
Amazing how you can experience fear and trepidation on the inside and just by pretending things are ok it somehow makes it better. At least a little bit. The kids came over and checked out the snake skin. They thought it was awesome...of course. I told them not to touch it. Ick! Their aunt told them they could take it home. Yeah, she's kind of a nature chick. She was one of those adults that probably would have cried from laughing if I had acted the way I wanted to around all the tiny living things in the bushes. She made me strong. I even managed to keep picking when another mom found a tick on her little girl. A tick. Good thing nature chick was willing to check out Derek before we left.
Now are you starting to understand the goodness of the berry? During this experience while I was battling my fear of creepy crawlies the little guy in my hip holster was slowly transforming. I was distracted or maybe I would have realized what was happening right under my nose. He tried a blueberry. He liked it. The other kids got excited about it and brought him their biggest, most beautiful berries to sample. He took them all. And then he wanted more. I have to say I honestly don't know how many the little tyke consumed but I do know that when I was worried he'd have a tummy ache and I cut him off he completed his transformation into the blueberry monster. I think you could have heard him for miles. I tried water. I tried bouncing. I tried letting him walk. The only thing that could satisfy this terrifying creature was more blueberries. At one point he even tried going head first into my blueberry bucket. When I told Bryan he simply said, very much like Bill Cosby, "that's my son." At least I can say Derek has been thoroughly anti-oxidized for now.
One thing I know now, it looks like I'll be going back to pick more blueberries.