Tell me how can I live with no air, air, air...?

I know, but I couldn't resist. Love that song.
Bryan and I have had problems with our heating and air conditioning since pretty much day one in this house. We haven't had to replace the thing yet but we did spend, what I think is, an exorbitant amount of money on a proper thermostat to replace the jerry rigged one that came with the place. I think it ended up costing something like 60 bucks. For a thermostat. Who knew that could be such a lucrative market?
I believe our very first issue was the day of closing. We discovered during out last walk through before signing that the kitchen pipes were frozen. Apparently mortgage companies frown on pipes that don't work. Nitpicky if you ask me.


We were hoping to close before Christmas (since we'd been delayed like six weeks or so at this point) so we fired up the heat pump. Okay, I'm laughing here. Seriously laughing. If you own a heat pump you know there is no such thing as "firing" it up. HA! The concept is that this device takes the warm air from outside and brings it inside to warm up your house. There are a bunch of squiggly lined diagrams involved in how this works that I'm honestly not interested in learning to understand. Bottom line is when it is 26 degrees outside there is no heat to pump. period. But we were naive. So we tried anyway. We also turned the oven on full blast and got a space heater. Eventually the pipes thawed.

Next obstacle: We lost control of the heater. I'm not sure we ever were in control. Perhaps the heat pump was making sure we knew who was boss. Or as close to that as an inanimate object wholly incapable of conscious thought can come. Either way it was a pretty jerky move. We had no heat. This is when we had to get the mega expensive thermostat. Unfortunately we had no heat and it was the weekend and the super-expensive-thermostat store is only opened bank hours. (I mean seriously, this is the place to go if you're considering a career change). So Bryan's older brother saved us from popsicledom by wiring the heater to run non stop. At first we were warm. Then we were toasty. Then we were hot. Then we were nearly crispy critters. These heat pumps have emergency heat strips that heat air when it is too cold outside to work properly. And after twelve hours or so those things can really generate some heat. Whew. We were glad when the weekend was over and we were able to get things under control.

Now: The air conditioning was kidnapped. We left her home alone. I know, we are bad parents, we left poor AC to fend for herself at 72 degrees (yes, I know, save money and the planet at 78. Baby steps, okay? Bryan can actually be used as a furnace in an emergency so we compensate.). We were only gone an hour and when we came home there was no air conditioning going on. The fans were running and the temperature in the house was rising. I've been told that perhaps it is premature to start posting fliers and sending pictures to milk companies. Did she run away? Was she taken against her will? I think that bad influence Heat Pump has something to do with it. Or maybe his buddy M. E. Thermostat. At least the ceiling fans seem to still be on our side.

On a money saving note: I'm surprisingly well adjusted to our current 80 degree temperature after just one night sleeping in it. Derek is doing fine as well. Instead of being super bummed about our current straights I'm actually wondering how much money we'll save on our utility bill...hardly enough to offset the cost of a new unit if that is what it comes to but I'm optimistic AC will come home to us, where she belongs.  In the mean time I'm just grateful we have an addition with a separate heating/air unit that we can retreat to if the temperature gets too high.